Climbing- for fun.

One small aside before I start- I realize, as this whole blog thing moves along, that I am leading more and more into writing my own column I guess? Though it has no real direction- like some cooking or dating or advice column would. I would welcome suggestions on what a possible leading could be. But for now, I will just continue along with my random thoughts, constructed musings and occasional rantings.


When I was young(er), I used to climb a lot of things. I don’t remember specifically when this started, but my first recollection is of climbing a tree out by the street in front of our house in Worcester, Mass. I climbed it many afternoons to watch for my sister coming home from school. Her being 6 years my elder, I figure this went on for a couple years or so- and eventually I just climbed it because it was there and I could. My Dad seemed to encourage playful climbing because he rigged up some poles in our back yard, that also hooked into a tree, and I remember climbing around on those with my sister and various other friends as well.
Once we moved to Utah, my wonderful parents gifted with an amazing “jungle gym” in the back yard (now that I think of it, probably to help keep me occupied)- and I could get way up on top of that, and build and construct all kinds of things on and around it as well. But that didn’t seem to be enough as I eventually started climbing and walking along the 6 foot privacy fence, and then up onto the ten or so foot brick wall, and up onto the roof of the house. I made a game out of it by the time I was 10 or 11 and was provided the opportunity for hours of practice via numerous groundings which forced me to find things to entertain myself within the constraints of the yard. So the game was to somehow make it around the backyard on various objects without needing to touch the ground. Somehow, I miraculously managed to not prompt more trips to the emergency room in these escapades- I don’t know how though.
I provide all of this fairly mundane history to set the stage for today’s wondering about why we (I) lose sight of the fun of things in life(?) At what age does playing on the jungle gym become no longer acceptable? Man it is SO easy to get caught up and duped in the constraints of “adult” life. It’s no wonder even Hey-suess made a point to say we should be like little children, because it seems something VITAL often gets lost in the processes of “growing up”. We lose our interest in climbing trees for fun and start climbing those ladders in some career or social status that don’t really seem to lead to anywhere.
I’ve never been one much for ladder climbing of that sort - but there are situations where you can kind of get sucked in to that place of "status"; and my most recent induction into what that club is like, most certainly left me with even more distaste for it. I got to observe first hand how a large element of consideration for others seems to get lost once one "reaches the top." And no matter how masked in public this might seem, the absence is VERY apparent behind the scenes. I also see the absence of people being able to appreciate down time anymore- of being able to do nothing. DOING, seems to be ever so much more important for those that aren't able to stand having a void, what I've heard called the "overscheduled lifestyle."
It's amazing the kind of stress we can heap upon ourselves for a career or ambition or even "dream". By now you'd think I would have learned that once the stress from the job begins to outweigh the ideal of the job, it's not worth doing anymore. But noooooooo- I guess it had been long enough since I'd been in the thick of it to remember the signs. Things like on-going fatigue; lack of enthusiasm; a waning respect for those you are working for. And then there's the physical indications- for me, that almost always means the gut-rot. And this time it began to include high blood pressure and an occasional panic attack. But while all those things were familiar, and I was seriously considering taking the last train to Quitsville, for some reason I thought I should "stick it out" a little longer... to prove what, I'm not sure. Likely it was the Holden credo of giving it your all until it almost sucks the life out of you. And then came the Sunday night when I started crying because I dreaded having to go back to all that the next morning. That's when it's time to stop. That's when you feel the reality of how empty all that junk of status and prestige and who you know is. That's when you realize that no matter how much you don't allow the mindset of others to change your mindset- if you fall under their "rule" (so to speak) that expectation for you to value what they think is important, is still there. So you either subscribe to it. Or get out of that box as fast as you can.

And that's when I remembered that the only climbing I've ever wanted to do- is for fun.

I don't believe I'll need to be reminded of that again. I may not climb trees too much today, but I'd be more than happy to hop on a jungle gym anytime.

Will I weather the weather?

THAT is the question!

Let's start off with a tidbit from "The Minnesota Weather Almanac" by Mark Seeley - In a state that often sits at the crossroads of weather systems, interest in the topic runs high. It's a phenomenon Seeley dubs "meteorological affected disorder, or MAD.

Hmmmm. Yes, I believe you could say the weather has made me MAD this year. This isn't fun for someone who also gets to deal with SAD as well. So you could easily say the MAD makes me SAD or vice versa- whatever. People, there were frost advisories the other night. So as far as I'm concerned, we have for all intents and purposes, skipped Spring this year. I mean, we have about 22 days left on the calendar before summer solstice, though this past weekend was the unofficial start of summer- so either way spring has pretty much been sprunged. My native-Minnesotan girlfriend admonishes me not to "talk bad" about MN weather, (a person who rarely wears a coat in the frigid temps) but COME ON! It's not like this past winter was an easy one, and the thought of maybe only getting two or three months of actual warmth OUTSIDE just makes me cringe.
Look. I have truly lived in and experienced all climates the U.S. has to offer, with the only one exception being the Northwest (which would just not work for me- see above...) and this one has by far been the toughest. My Floridian-bred, thin blood just is NOT getting thicker and my mind just can't keep jumping over "matter" - even if there are skyways connecting 52 blocks of downtown Minneapolis together! At some point, you have to step outside and then it just takes hours to warm back up again.

Part of the problem, I think, is that Winter is celebrated here folks.... In 1885 a New York reporter wrote that Saint Paul was "another Siberia, unfit for human habitation" in winter. Offended by this attack on their Capital City, the Saint Paul Chamber of Commerce decided to not only prove that Saint Paul was habitable but that its citizens were very much alive during winter, the most dominant season. Thus was born the Saint Paul Winter Carnival. This just serves to confuse Mother Nature or the Solstices or whatever you subscribe to, so they just keep making winter hang around longer and longer... (And here we have a picture of one of the many "Ice Palaces" constructed each year...Not sure if that big flame thing is to make the ice melt faster or for people to warm up with?)

No wonder the state bird up here is the Loon!














So Mom- you may be seeing more of me this year if we don't end up with a long summer to offset the long winter!
P.S.- What global warming?

The convenient holiday for inconvenient events.

In honor of honoring those that should be remembered on this upcoming 3-day weekend, here are my thoughts......
Being the history lover that I am, I thought I'd first provide some background on this whole Memorial Day thing. This American "celebration" originated after the Civil war, reportedly to assist communities in healing after being torn apart by the war. It was originally called Decoration Day, (for decorating the graves of the soldiers) and while the intent was for this commemoration to take place nationwide on the same day, the southern, confederate states resisted joining in on this, and held their remembrances on a separate day. This lasted up until the end of WWI, when it was "declared" (I don't know by whom) that all states would use the same day as the Memorial Day holiday, May 30th. Interesting enough however, it did not become a Federal holiday until 1971. Seems odd to me when all of those that we are supposed to be remembering died for the country....What's worse is that at that same time, they changed Memorial Day from May 30th, to the last Monday of May, and here's why -
***At present, Congress has designated ten legal holidays. Since 1971, a number of these have been fixed on Mondays rather than on a particular calendar date so as to afford workers a long holiday weekend *** I mean, we wouldn't want to inconvenience people in having a holiday that might fall in the middle of the week or something. That might cause us to actually think about what the holiday's purpose was in the first place!

In the actual context of this holiday, I have to say that I don't think we Americans have any idea in this day and age what it really means to "remember the fallen". Our wars these days don't really "win" anything- and in my opinion, haven't since WWII. History shows that the whole country had to sacrifice and "pull together" during most of the wars that took place between the Civil war and WWII, something we don't know anything about today. I think it was that communal suffering that made celebrating such a day as Memorial day entirely more poignant given that you knew your remembered one had
not "died in vain", so to speak, and because you had suffered your own hardships to support that "mission" as well. No doubt it certainly lent much more meaning to Independence Day as well....
Now. Let's talk about what really happens these days. And I won't shy away from saying that I am sometimes an offender in what I'm about to say as well. But Memorial Day was truly established for those that died fighting in wars for this country. And this holiday continues into this day, because our government continues to send soldiers into battles, on behalf of this country. The holiday, way back when, started off as a much quieter observance- in placing flowers and flags on graves- where as now we have parades and picnics and vacations that really have nothing to do with memorializing anything. And there are still soldiers dying. Right now, in fact. But my suspicion is that not much "remembering" is going to happen this weekend, unless you are the widow or parent or child of the person with the flag across their casket. Meanwhile, we have these parades and picnics that don't really seem to have anything to do with what the day was intended for, and as usual, the (convenient) 3-day weekend usually involves a lot of food and drinking and is better known as being the "start of summer" than as a day of rememberance.
Once again, I have to wonder how those that died to keep this country free would feel about what their America is like now. It's taken for granted. And like sooooo much else in this country, it's an assumed privilege. A privilege that seems to get flaunted around an awful lot these days too, in my opinion. But that's a whole different blog.
So my goal this weekend, is to spend even just a few minutes, actually thinking about what it must have been like for my great uncles to fight in WWII- and to think about how much so many other soldiers had to give up and go through with the belief that they were fighting, and dying, for something. And they were! The freedom to choose how I worship, and think and work and love and am governed. It might do us good to also keep in mind that those who are serving this country in the Middle East will not come home having "won" anything. I think it will be as equally (if not more) difficult for them to adjust as it was for those returning from Vietnam...I personally would find it extremely hard to bear such sacrifices with an interminable mission that holds no discernible victory.

"Let no vandalism of avarice or neglect, no ravages of time testify to the present or to the coming generations that we have forgotten as a people the cost of a free and undivided republic." -- General Logan - May 5, 1868

The Memoir? (See Lisa's blog)

How about-

Tenaciously composing my own drum beat.

The importance of being earnest?

What is this word, melancholy? Because I sort of like it. I think it teaches lessons of life. I think it is proving ground for the heart and prevents complacency. Here is my reasoning... And as my mother is steadfast in saying..."this will eventually get to my point"...Winter brings its own shade of this word, this "state of being." Maybe it's because we are more often "trapped" inside with our thoughts and feelings, left to contemplate about our lives, our habits, sometimes, our everything. I appreciate the recourse of the Thesaurus' explanation of similar aspects of this word. Because I often find myself meditating on my place in life. I also enjoy ruminating over what I've done, but rarely on what I have yet to do. It's such a common descriptor of so many artists- that they can even assume a "period" of such earnestness.

I enjoy this word, because it is at its peak that I am left to deal with myself, by myself. And sometimes, somber can be inspirational. Sometimes, always being rational, isn't rational anymore.
If there is no severity in my effort to live, then what is it's purpose? It's often at the bleakest times, within the depth of doom and gloom that I realize the purpose is to still believe when all hope is lost; to persevere when everyone else has given up; to keep searching when all light has gone dim. What is my meaning of life? To live - and to live with purpose. This is some of what melancholy has taught me, and not without trial and tribulation, I assure you. But it is because of those "character building experiences" that I am reminded that life is not to be lived in all seriousness. That living should also embody frivolity and mischief and playfulness. So I enjoy this word, melancholy, because it teaches best its most opposite of meanings- pure bliss, priceless joy. For if we do not know sadness and its countless intricacies, how do we ever understand happiness?
Make no mistake, I solemnly appreciate the importance of being earnest. Because in that most sedate comprehension, I have realized my earnestness is only best realized when it is directed toward its antonym.